Book It!
Making you money, so you can buy that NASCAR Pinball Machine you’ve always wanted…
SEATTLE [-1] over New Orleans / OKC
Book it!
[Current Record: 5-3]
Comments (3)Better Living Through Nicknames
The Charlotte Bobcats need your help! (And sorry, it doesn’t involve you suiting up to play the 4 spot.)
No, the Charlotte Bobcats need your help in giving Gerald Wallace a cool nickname. A moniker, if you will.
Yeah, they’ve even listed a few suggestions to help get your creative juices flowin’. Some of them are even quite good, like: G-Motion, Strider and Crash, while some of them are well … not quite good: Speed (too generic), Look Out (what?) and Tuff (definitely not Gerald if you’ve had him on your fantasy team the past few years).
But the worst – and by worst, I mean best – Gerald Wallace nickname suggestion so far, has gotta be this little gem: Multiplicity.
Yeah, Multiplicity! I know, it’s awesome. Not only does it make no sense, but well, any nickname that brings to mind a horrific 1996 romantic comedy is fine by me. Hell, let’s just call Gerald, Michael Keaton, and get it over with. Done.
Help Give Gerald Wallace A Nickname [BobcatsBasketball.com]
Comments (11)Sleeping Giant
Juwan: Tracy.
Tracy: What?
Juwan: Look.
Tracy: Where?
Juwan: Look at Yao. Behind me.
…
Tracy: Woah, what’s wrong with him? Yao, you ok–
Juwan: –Shhh… he’s sleeping you idiot.
Tracy: No?
Juwan: Yeah, look.
Tracy: Damn.
Juwan: Yeah, dumb son-of-a-bitch is out of it.
Tracy: Well, we should probably wake him up, no? I mean, if Coach sees him he’ll be–
Juwan: –No, no, leave him. He’s tired.
Tracy: I just don’t want him to get in trouble that’s all.
Juwan: Oh, come on, he’s fine.
…
Juwan: Hey, let’s put his hand in cold water, yeah?
Tracy: Oh, no Juwan, that’s just mean.
Juwan: Hahaha… come on, it’ll be hilarious. “Yo, ball boy!”
Tracy: Oh, this is a bad idea…
Juwan: “Yeah, you! Grab me a cup of water quick.”
Tracy: I really don’t like this Juwan. I don’t want to be apart of this…
Juwan: Would you quit with the fuckin’ whining. Jeesh. No wonder you’re so God damn depressed. Lighten up, man.
…
Tracy: That hurts dude. Seriously…
Comments (6)Last Night in the ‘L’ …
What you missed while watching The Bachelor not pick Moana:
- Memphis 108, Washington 98:
The Beard goes bezerk and drops a career-high 39.
- Detroit 84, Cleveland 72:
“We get three, four, five technicals, but all we do is win.” - Sheed
- San Antonio 121, New York 93:
These dicks can’t even lose by 16? Argh! Knicks single handedly ruin my 5-game parlay!
FreeDarko: AK47
FreeDarko’s Brickowski has a fantastic new post/rant/TrebuchetMS words about Utah Jazz F, Andrei Kirilenko and his freaky stat stuffing, “pterodactyl like wingspan”. I suggest you go read it. It’s a nice. Yesh.
I agree with a lot of what Brickowski says, and it got me thinking specifically about AK47 and his Jazz-hands. So, I’ll share those thoughts with you here. You know, take up space and shit.
Basically, I think AK47 is awesome, but well, isn’t. I mean, sure, the 5×5’s help you take a couple Yahoo! fantasy weeks, and sure, the dude is really creepy-fuckin’ cool lookin’, but honestly, what has he done for Utah?
Um, how do say, “nothing” in Russian? Oh, “ничто” apparently. But “94-125” – since he’s started regularly at least – works just as well.
Now before you Sloan me in the face, no, the Jazz’s shortcomings are not entirely AK47’s fault. That’s just crazy talk. But, you can’t deny that this guy, one who is trumpeted over and over again as an “international NBA star”, has never really been able to take his game to the Dirk, Pierce, or Wade like levels.
Sure, the 8 blocks and 6 steals games are sweet (and as a fantasy owner, please keep them coming), but what I’d like to see is for AK to take that next step. I’d love to see him try and figure out how to raise his game (and team) above the stats.
Too be honest, I’m not even sure Kirilenko has that “Level” in him, but I’d suggest adding a “Leadership %” category in Fantasy Land to help us find out.
White Box of Jazz [FreeDarko.com]
Comments (10)Book It!
Making you money, so you can buy that Richard Dumas card you’ve always wanted…
Detroit [-2.5] over CLEVELAND
Book it!
[Current Record: 4-3]
Comments (3)NBA Headlines…
They can be fun, yo:
- B. Colangelo to Decide on Raptors by Tuesday
Yes, from now on we shall only refer to Bryan Colangelo as ‘B’.
- Boozer’s Return Impacting Jazz Rotation
… and Alcohol Consumption
- Net’s Concerned With Carter’s Right Hamstring
Oh, really? Muahahahaha…
News Roundup [NBA.com]
Comments (3)Last Night in the ‘L’ …
What you missed while programming the microwave to play your iPod:
- Houston 89, Orlando 84:
Rockets 10-2 in February. NASA proud.
- Boston 112, LA Lakers 111:
Who saw Paul Pierce destroy Chris Mihm’s soul?
- New Orleans / OKC 88, Portland 75:
Say it: David West is the new Jordan! Too much?
The Dream Individual Team
In a press conference Wednesday, USA Basketball managing director Jerry Colangelo announced that Kobe Bryant has been selected as the 2008 men’s Olympic basketball team.
“When they put me in charge of the selection process, I promised the committee that I would not assemble a collection of selfish, self-centered superstars with no team concept,” said Colangelo, referring to the every-man-for-himself Olympic team that finished an embarrassing third place in Athens two years ago. I am confident that, with a team comprised entirely of Kobe Bryant, the infighting, ego-clashing, and divisiveness that plagued the 2004 team will not be a problem.”
I really hope Shaq becomes a Canadian citizen.
Kobe Bryant Named As 2008 Olympic Basketball Team [The Onion]
Comments (8)Book It!
Making you money, so you can buy that Urban Snow Racer you’ve always wanted…
New Orleans / Oklahoma City [-4] over PORTLAND
Book it!
[Current Record: 3-3]
Comments (0)About
The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
Podcast
Latest Episodes
- Ep. 308: The Fix – Friday, May 9th
- Ep. 307: The Fix – Wed/Thu, May 7/8th
- Ep. 306: The Fix – Tuesday, May 6th
- Ep. 305: The Fix – Monday, May 5th
- Ep. 304: The Fix – Friday, May 2nd