Beware The Beast

amare

Seen last night in Phoenix: large wooly mammoth with the ability to jump, fly and score over anyone on the basketball court. He was accompanied by a white, shaggier friend who possesses the uncanny ability of finding the right guy, at the right time.

Seen last night in Salt Lake City: a ‘Mailman’ who loved to pick and roll just as much as he loves having a piece of straw between his teeth. Along side him was a teammate who could pass and wear short-shorts with the best of them.

The tandem of Nash and Stoudemire are a more modern version of Stockton and Malone. Sure the Sun duo relies more on raw athleticism than structured offensive sets but they are just as beautiful to watch. It’s impossible to change the channel when watching these two manipulate the floor. Still in their infancy as an All-Star pair, Amare and Steve still have several years to perfect their trade.

With Nash at the helm, Stoudemire is arguably the best, and definitely the most athletic big man in the L. No disrespect to the pick and roll combo in Utah, but these two may actually win a title. The top 4 powers all have weaknesses: the Spurs are hurting, the Heat are still adapting to several personnel changes, the Pistons have no depth and the Mavs have holes on D. The Suns now own an extremely intimidating starting 5 of: Nash, Raja Bell, Boris Diaw, Shawn Marion and Stoudemire with Kurt and Tim Thomas coming off the bench.

As the Suns mesh, teams will start shakin’ in their booties cause STAT is back and he’s already speaking in the 3rd person.

And why the hell do people call him STAT (Standing Tall and Talented)?

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By Tas Melas at 1:45 pm on 03.24.2006 — Tags: Amare Stoudemire, Suns, Superstars

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9 Responses to “Beware The Beast”

  1. Sam at 3:27 pm on 03.24.2006

    It’s a nickname given to him by his family back in high school, I believe.

  2. VC at 3:28 pm on 03.24.2006

    I am waiting for the day Nash hits Stoudemire in the head with a bullet pass and says, “That’s for talking in the 3rd person, now stop it”.

  3. J.E. Skeets at 4:07 pm on 03.24.2006

    Can’t we just call him “Black Jesus” and be done with it?

  4. VC at 4:40 pm on 03.24.2006

    Good thought Skeets, keep it simple. Perhaps that is why Kobe is talking about Judaism, Amare is already the Black Jesus, Kobe could be the Jewish Mamba.

    “I wouldn’t mind being Jewish. I wouldn’t mind. Really.”

  5. Unsilent Majority at 4:40 pm on 03.24.2006

    uh…jesus was black…AND jewish…no wonder he was persecuted

  6. Lance Uppercut at 4:45 pm on 03.24.2006

    It would probably be more accurate to call Nash “White Jesus” and Amare just “Jesus.” It’s like licorice. Licorice by definition is black, but since red licorice is more popular, black licorice gets called “black licorice” while licorice, which really should be called “red licorice” gets the distinction of not needing an adjective simply because more people worship it as the crazy delicious savior of movie theatre goers.

  7. Unsilent Majority at 4:46 pm on 03.24.2006

    simulpost!

    kobe’s just in it for the jew boobs (”JOOBS!)
    remember kobe in hebrew lo means lo!

  8. Lance Uppercut at 5:03 pm on 03.24.2006

    If Matishahu can make reggae cool for hasidic jews, maybe another young Isrealite could come along and take over the NBA, other than David Stern of course.

  9. Unsilent Majority at 6:35 pm on 03.24.2006

    Jordan Farmar is like the jewish pope

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