Repturs Seegn Zee Cheff

The Toronto Raptors are officially super-international. Early this morning the Raptors announced they have signed free-agent guard the Swedish Chef to a multi-year contract. Per team policy, and because no one is sure what he actually said, financial details were not disclosed.

“The Swedish Chef is a high character and experienced player that has proven over several years now that he belongs in the NBA,” said Bryan Colangelo, president and general manager of the Raptors. “His addition adds a great scoring punch to our lineup. He just knows how to put the chicken in the basket, you know? You can’t teach that.”

The Chef signing is just the latest on a long list of international moves by the Raptors organization. Three weeks ago they drafted Italian rookie Andrea Bargnani with the #1 overall pick. A few weeks later they signed two Euroleague free-agents, Jorge Garbajosa and Anthony Parker. And oh, let’s not forget they shipped Charlie Villaneuva out of town as well. Yeah, it’s a well-known fact that Colangelo likes his players with hair. Lots and lots of hair.

When asked about his thoughts on joining the Raptors, the 4’2”, 27-pound Chef seemed fairly optimistic.

“I’m joost ixceeted tu get beck oon zee cuoort. I theenk I cun breeng a lut ooff inergy tu thees teem. Bush is a sooperster. T.J. is a pess-furst pueent gooerd. Und Moo is un ooferell greet deffender. Ve-a’re-a gueeng tu meke-a a lut ooff nueese-a thees yeer. Bork Bork Bork!”

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By J.E. Skeets at 11:39 pm on 07.13.2006 — Tags: Free Agency, Raptors

Comments

9 Responses to “Repturs Seegn Zee Cheff”

  1. Howie aka Hype at 1:06 am on 07.14.2006

    Okay, I gotta go netspeak for this: ROLF. That was classic Skeets.

  2. Chris Clarke at 9:02 am on 07.14.2006

    Dito, that was hilarious.

  3. Unsilent Majority at 9:24 am on 07.14.2006

    The Real Swedish Chef. watch it quick before youtube pulls it.

    anthony parker is a solid player and the iti has looked pretty good…but oleksiy is sexy

  4. skormos at 2:07 pm on 07.14.2006

    First vee tak-etata zeh shocolate… zen vee tak-etata zeh mooos. HERE MOOSEY MOOSE!

  5. Craig at 3:40 pm on 07.14.2006

    Is Chad Ford the new GM of the Raps? The Swedish Chef thing… good stuff! (bock, bock, bock!!!)

    I also wrote some stuff on the “other” Tony Parker.

  6. the mighty mjd sports blog » Blog Archive » Backdoor Cuts - 07/14/06 at 6:09 pm on 07.14.2006

    […] • If you’re not American, or even if you’re just bilingual, the Toronto Raptors might be interested in signing you. In fact, they just signed The Swedish Chef. […]

  7. Q at 6:45 pm on 07.14.2006

    Is tas in a China scouting players from the Raptors? It’s like the UN at the ACC

  8. rem at 2:49 am on 07.15.2006

    sadly, i miss the chef and his chicken

  9. The Big Lead » blog » NBA Preview: Atlantic Division at 6:18 pm on 10.09.2006

    […] 2) Colangelo’s Euro plan. Out: Mike James, Villanueva, ‘Hoffa, Bonner, E. Williams, and Woods. In: T.J. Ford, Fred Jones, Kris Humphries, and nearly 70% of Europe. Yes, I think it’s safe to say that the ’06-07 Raptors are shrouded in an international veil of mystery. Was Italy’s Bargnani worth the No. 1 draft pick? Can Anthony Parker bring his Euro-MVP game to North America? Is Slovenia’s Nestorivic finally the answer in the middle? Can the Swedish Chef hit a goddamn open jumper? So many questions, so many languages… […]

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