Hittin’ The E-Bag

With the L we love and know at a goddamn stand still — well, minus that blockbuster Canada for spare parts trade and Wally’s chronic boner-knee — I figured now was as good a time as ever to empty the old inbox.

So here it is: the first ever Basketball Jones E-Bag. Enjoy!

(And no, I’m not Bill Simmons. I just play one on the Internet.)

Q: The other day at the 3-on-3 tournament in Toronto, I see a guy rockin’ a number 15 Raptors jersey. I know the Vince Carter era is long gone but I can’t help think to myself that this guy’s a total bitch for wearing VC’s jersey in Toronto. So I throw it to you. In your opinion, is it now okay to sport a VC jersey in Toronto? Are any of his jerseys (Raptors, Team USA or New Jersey) acceptable at this point? For me, as long as Vince is in the league the bad taste in my mouth will never go away. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
– Willy, Toronto

JE: Look, if Vince ever plays for like the Davenport Dickheads or the Boise City Cryin’ Little Bitches then yes, it’s completely acceptable to wear his jersey in Toronto. Otherwise, no.

Q: Please help: Can you tell me what type of mongoose Bart Taylor rides in the movie Rad? And about Cru’s bike? Hope you can help.
– Tom

JE: Sorry Tom, I have no idea. I can tell you exactly how many wet dreams I had thanks to Lori Loughlin though. Six. Last week.

Q: May we exchange links with your site?
– Catawba County Real Estate, NC

JE: Get away from me, spam and/or Renee Hentschel!

Q: Okay Skeets, I have to know. Is this you, Tas or JD?
– Darryl, Auckland, New Zealand

JE: Wow! I really want to say JD, but you and I both know Tas loves to sport the high socks. Great find. We need to get him on our show.

Q: Hey JE: long time eyes, first time mouth. Quick question for you. I remember way back on your old blog you rippin’ on the 5 worst SLAM covers of all-time. (Hilarious, by the way.) Anyway, we never did find out what your favorite SLAM cover of all-time was. Which one would you pick? The Nasty Nash cover?
–Rube Red, Boston, MA

JE: Whoa, that’s a way back playback right there. Um, good question. Honestly? I think I’d have to say, ALL of the SLAM covers are my favorite.

*Waits for Sam, Lang, and Ryan to nod in approval and lower their tire wrenches*

No, no, no … I guess I’ve always loved the Old School Issue with Iverson. Gotta love the ABA ball and kick ass ‘fro…

Q: At the end of Episode 29, Tas and you said the TBJ podcast had some “big plans in the works”. Well … dot-dot-dot? Throw us a freakin’ bone here Skeets! Love the show. Peace.
– And2, N. Cali

JE: I don’t want to promise too much, because we all know how good I am at that — cough, Draft videos, cough — but let’s just say I’ve started reading this. Figure it out.

OK, that’s enough. It’s a little after 10:30p.m. and the temperature is like 40°C outside! (+100°F for you Yankees, eh?). Yeah, it’s hot in herre. My igloo is few-ucked.

If you have any questions or comments, send ‘em in.

J.E. Skeets is a writer for The Basketball Jones. He doesn’t have a book, but if he did it’d be called “How Ketchup Saved My Soul” and it’d be in bookstores everywhere.

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By J.E. Skeets at 10:41 pm on 07.31.2006 — Tags: E-bags

Comments

16 Responses to “Hittin’ The E-Bag”

  1. mutoni at 11:53 am on 08.01.2006

    “how ketchup saved my soul” : sounds like a book worth reading

  2. Natalie at 3:12 pm on 08.01.2006

    Hey Skeets do you answer all email questions? If so can you tell my beloved Basketball Jones Podcasts will be back?

    You and Tas need to get off your asses and feed the addiction.. I am literally Jonesin!

    I will give you my Ben Wallace Jersey for a podcast…..

  3. Natalie at 3:14 pm on 08.01.2006

    0030

  4. Howie aka Hype at 3:57 pm on 08.01.2006

    Did Natalie just moon you? or us? But anyway..just to not anger the almighty Skeets: “Pssst Natalie: ep029 is new!”

  5. J.E. Skeets at 3:58 pm on 08.01.2006

    Okay Natalie, how the hell did you get my bank card pin? That’s creepy.

    JD — the TBJ podcast producer — and his wife are due to have their first child in the next couple of days. (Leo, WHAT!?)

    We’ll be taking a few weeks off, tannin’ like Darko and what not, but we should be back to record a WBC ‘cast sometime late in August.

    And then, my God, when October hits? Whew, let’s just say it’s not gonna be pretty …

  6. LUCAS at 4:52 pm on 08.01.2006

    You wrote all those ‘reader questions’ yourself didn’t you? You have no shame.

  7. Tas Melas at 6:15 pm on 08.01.2006

    Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Back up the Tractor Traylor Lucas.

    You cannot accuse Skeets of fabricating questions.

    That is absurd. But I would make up anything for Natalie’s Ben Wallace jersey.

  8. J.E. Skeets at 6:24 pm on 08.01.2006

    I didn’t write the answers, let alone the questions.

    He’s a ghost … and he writes to us. Ghostwriter.

    Anybody?

  9. LUCAS at 6:35 pm on 08.01.2006

    Settle now, it was a joke…

    Why are you getting all defensive?

  10. J.E. Skeets at 6:59 pm on 08.01.2006

    Lucas: I think Tas is kidding as well.

    Man, I hate the Internet sometimes…

  11. LUCAS at 7:20 pm on 08.01.2006

    DAMMIT, I guess I could be really cool and include *sarcasm* tags.

  12. Natalie at 7:26 pm on 08.01.2006

    I will give you a you a break then, give Tas (Edit: She mean’s JD) our best! As for 029 been there, I can’t help that you guys spoiled me with regular shows during the season.

    I am certain there is something spectacular in the works. Good luck with it, I will be waiting.

  13. benjammin' at 8:15 pm on 08.01.2006

    Ghostwriter: Imagine the show lassie … but instead of a dog you have a little blue light that writes.

  14. Unsilent Majority at 12:48 pm on 08.02.2006

    Ghostwriter raised me

  15. benjammin' at 4:22 pm on 08.02.2006

    Into what?

  16. Settons at 12:25 pm on 08.03.2006

    Best post ever Skeets…you should do this more often.

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