NBA Prep Work: Nuggets

As part of The Basketball Jones extensive ‘06-07 season preview, I’ve been awarded the honor of going “one-on-one” with a representative from all 30 NBA teams. (No, not really.)

Today I get into it with new Denver Nuggets guard J.R. Smith. Our conversation follows:

ONE-ON-ONE WITH … J.R. SMITH

J.E. Skeets: Earl, thanks for sitting down and talking with me today. Can I call you Earl?
J.R. Smith: No.

Skeets: Can I call you Owen?
Smith: No.

Skeets: Really? How ’bout Travis then? You look like a Travis.
Smith: No.

Skeets: Mr. Liquid Paper?
Smith: What? No.

Skeets: Fine, I’ll call you J.R.. But let the record show I’m none too happy about it.
Smith: That’s fair.

Skeets: OK, let’s get into it. Do you know what I mean when I say, “Let’s get into it”?
Smith: Um, let’s get into the questions?

Skeets: Yes, good. Didn’t know if you were paying attention there. Your eyes are sort of droopy.
Smith: I’m here.

Skeets: OK good. First question: You excited to be playing alongside Carmelo this season?
Smith: Oh yeah. Carmelo’s a great player and a team player.

Skeets: Tell me how you really feel.
Smith: He needs a haircut.

Skeets: Yeah, what’s up with that? Looks like his scalp threw-up, no?
Smith: True. I don’t know.

Skeets: So how does it feel to get traded twice in the same summer?
Smith: To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t feel any different for it to be done twice. I mean I’m still only going to one new place, right? If it happened during the season though … well, that’d be a different story.

Skeets: Tell me a different story, J.R..
Smith: Excuse me?

Skeets: Please tell me a story. A tale, a fable…
Smith: About?

Skeets: Anything. Go nuts.
Smith: Um…

Skeets: Let your imagination soar, young child…
Smith: OK, um … um … I guess once upon a time–

Skeets: Hold on. You guess?
Smith: Um, yeah…

Skeets: If you’re going to tell a story, tell it like you mean it!
Smith: Sorry.

Skeets: No wonder you got traded for air. You’ve got no gusto man.
Smith: Hey, Howard Eisley is solid baller.

Skeets: Yeah, so is Frankie Muniz. Come on man…
Smith: Whatever.

Skeets: Moving on … Um, hey J.R., just wanted to let you know I’m a huge fan of your young career and I wish you the best in Denver. What kind of workout have you been doing over the summer and what area are you focusing on?
Smith: Hold up. Are these even your questions?

Skeets: Yes. Of course.
Smith: Then why did you just read that? Let me see that.

Skeets: No, no … it’s just my notes–
Smith: Give me that.

Skeets: Hey, easy, you’re going to rip it–
Smith: What the … this is just a computer print out of the chat I just did for NBA.com. You’re reading me the same damn questions!

Skeets: I am not.
Smith: You are too. Look: “Hey J.R., just wanted to let you know I’m a huge fan of your young career and I wish you the best in Denver.” You just said that. Word for word.

Skeets: Ah, I think you hurt my wrist.
Smith: Oh give me a break.

Skeets: Oh man … ahhh … yeah, this is bad. Ouch, ouch, ouch. I think my wrist is broken. Thanks.
Smith: You’re a piece of shit. I’m out of here.

Skeets: Oh, oh, oh, where you going Earl? You just get traded again? You get traded for some O-Pee-Chee cards this time?
Smith: You’re a joke.

Skeets: “And in other NBA news, J.R. Smith was traded earlier today to Milwaukee for a Luc Robitaille rookie card and a mint Andy Moog!” Ha!

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By J.E. Skeets at 11:12 am on 08.29.2006 — Tags: '06/07 Season Preview, Nuggets

Comments

5 Responses to “NBA Prep Work: Nuggets”

  1. benjammin' at 11:37 am on 08.29.2006

    Andy Moog is mint.

  2. Unsilent Majority at 3:03 pm on 08.29.2006

    i think i have luc’s o-pee-chee card somewhere…

    skeets- that did not suck one bit

  3. J.E. Skeets at 3:18 pm on 08.29.2006

    Ben: I’m glad you didn’t type “dead”.

    UM: Thanks. Sometimes the conversation just flows, you know?

  4. benjammin' at 6:32 pm on 08.29.2006

    Yeah you’re right skeets… pointing out that Andy Moog was dead might make his card go up and thus level his trade in value.

  5. KD at 9:58 pm on 08.29.2006

    These keep getting better.

    I have an O-Pee-Chee Ron Cey somewhere. Those tasty fuckers were hard to get in Chicago.

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