Kinda Ballin’: The AZ Rankings

When you’re on top of the rankings, you have nowhere to go but down. But when you’re at the bottom of the rankings, you just suck ass. Thus, by process of elimination, the middle of the rankings is the ideal place to be.

Every Tuesday, the AZ Rankings lists the four most ho-hum teams in the league. Why? Because mediocrity is deadly, people. Dead-ly.

Last week it was Indy, Minny, Golden State-y, and Milwaukee. This week…

14. New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets: I tried watching the Hornets play last Sunday with my dangerously hung-over friend, Ken. Ugh. The Bee’s had like, 12 turnovers in the first 9 minutes. Didn’t take long to realize watching Ken try to keep down Cheetohs, Fuzzy Peaches, and Ginger Ale was much more entertaining. (Note: Tyson Chandler’s mo-hawk is even ordinary!)

15. Washington Wizards: I feel a l’il dirty about placing my third fourth favorite team in this spot — easy, UM — but well… they deserve it. They’re playing like a bunch of rusty seesaws down by Marsh Pond. (No, not because they’re playing up-and-down, but because they smell like bird shit and kiddie pee.) Stop floundering, stop stepping backwards, and stop wasting AGENT ZERO!

16. Indiana Pacers: Uh-oh. I’ve already run out of ways to describe the Pacers’ mediocrity, even though I know they’ll be on this list every single week. Um… um… JO’s forehead looks smaller since he shaved the rows, no?

17. Philadelphia 76ers: Two things: 1) I’m sticking with my “Sixers will suck / Iverson will be traded” prediction. Yeah, don’t be fooled by the 3-3 record; this team sucks and they’ll be huffing paint in the basement with the Knicks soon enough. 2) When it’s all said and done, I think this kid’s cackle (at the :18 mark) might best sum up this Sixers season.

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By J.E. Skeets at 2:47 pm on 11.14.2006 — Tags: Kinda Ballin': The AZ Rankings, Pacers, Wizards, Hornets, Sixers

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One Response to “Kinda Ballin’: The AZ Rankings”

  1. Unsilent Majority at 6:33 pm on 11.14.2006

    [cough]blowme[/cough]

    i blame august strindberg

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