I’ve Got The Power

I was lucky enough to get 3rd row tickets to the Raps-Pacers game this past Sunday. My homey Mike Nomi gets freebies a lot so I got the invite. There’s no way I would pay for those ducats myself – they’re like 200 bucks a pop. Although the view is ridiculously good, I’m not a fan of getting nasty looks from the suits every time I scream “Jorge”! I’d rather sit up with the real fans in the nosebleeds. Who am I kidding? I wish I were sitting with the Armanis and Bosses.

What the seat did give me was a close up look at these guys’ tendencies and facial expressions. When Jorge Garbajosa was at the line I saw him mouthing something to himself. It must have been in Espanol no doubt, but Garbo got me thinking: What have other ballers said to themselves as they stepped to the stripe? Feel free to add to this list.

Doug Christie – I love you baby. You’re my everything. *Shoots 1st free throw* I love you baby. You’re my everything. Did I say it the 1st time? Oh man. She is gonna kill me. I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry.

Shawn Kemp – This one’s for my baby mama, my other baby mama, my other baby mama … Wait, how many is that? 1,2, …

Ben Wallace – Mother fucker won’t let me wear my headband. *Tosses up a brick* How’s a man supposed to shoot 50% if he ain’t treated like one? *Tosses up brick #2*

Rasheed Wallace – I’m gonna be the first playa to get a ‘T’ at the free throw line.

A.C. Green – This will be the only hole I stick it. I promise.

Share This

By Tas Melas at 1:34 pm on 11.30.2006 — Tags: At The Arena, Misc.

Comments

25 Responses to “I’ve Got The Power”

  1. Matt at 1:45 pm on 11.30.2006

    Dirk Nowitzki (checking himself out on the scoreboard above) - “Ich bin hässlich wie die Sünde” translation: I am as ugly as sin.

  2. Howie at 1:50 pm on 11.30.2006

    Yao Ming - 我是得高大!! translation: I am the tallest!!

  3. Settons at 2:10 pm on 11.30.2006

    Vince Carter: I am god’s gift to basketball and everything comes to me…just put it in the hoop.

    Kobe:I’m feeling lonely at the stripe, can someone hug me

  4. Ben at 2:58 pm on 11.30.2006

    Darko: Wha–?…How did…I’m playing!…I’M ACTUALLY PLAYING!

  5. D-Rock at 3:01 pm on 11.30.2006

    Etan Thomas - DID THAT REF JUST GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK???

  6. Unsilent Majority at 3:15 pm on 11.30.2006

    just because you sit close doesn’t mean you have to be a suit.

  7. Tas Melas at 3:21 pm on 11.30.2006

    I know Unsilent. It just seems like that at the ACC. There are real fans down there but they are the minority.

  8. Unsilent Majority at 3:45 pm on 11.30.2006

    Tony Parker: Je t’adore, Eva Longoria.

  9. Tom at 4:24 pm on 11.30.2006

    Mike Bibby (to young lass in the third row baseline): Are you sure you don’t have a little clone in you? Would you like to?

  10. Tom at 4:27 pm on 11.30.2006

    Chris Anderson (pre-exile, no doubt): Heroin’s got a great f*cking personality.

  11. Tom at 4:28 pm on 11.30.2006

    Cliff Robinson: I need some f*cking Cheetos.

  12. sam at 5:13 pm on 11.30.2006

    Ron Artest : I wonder if anyone’s enjoying my CD…

  13. Slim at 5:37 pm on 11.30.2006

    T-Mac: Am I pulling a Vince? Does this crap run in our family ?

    (I’m a little bitter that the T-Mac from 2 years ago is LONG LONG GONE. He just is not the same player. He is now playing like Vince when Vince gets “hurt.” Only, I think there is something going on in his head and he is scared to get hurt again, not that he is just a punk like Vince).

    Rafer Alston: Man, I really suckered the Raptors into that contract didn’t I? Then the Rockets traded for me. Man I know how to steal money….but I don’t know how to steal the ball from any point guard in the league. Maybe I’ll go back to NYC a try to look good again.

    Shane Battier: Hey, I’m going to score in double figures tonite **brick.** Ok, maybe not.

    JR Smith: Miss me Byron? Huh, do you? Melo won’t give me the ball like Chris would, but I still score like he is here with me.

    Micheal Redd: I hope Ruben picks up my guy again on D. Maybe I’ll just stay down on this end of the court….

    Ruben Patterson: I’m sick of picking up Redd’s man on D all the time. Hey, that teenage girl in the 3rd row is kind of cute. (should not have went there; but I did).

    Marvin Williams: I wish I could play point guard.

    Sheldon Williams: I wish I could play point guard.

    Carlos Boozer: This sweater on my chest is itchy…..why won’t Lebron return my calls?

    Kirk Hinerich: Seriously, a freaking headband?

  14. Lucas at 6:13 pm on 11.30.2006

    Eddie Griffin: “I wonder if they got any good book stores in this town.”

  15. syzygy at 9:29 pm on 11.30.2006

    Tim Duncan: 1001111010001110100011100010001000101111000110001101001

  16. J.E. Skeets at 11:02 pm on 11.30.2006

    OK, that last one made me laugh out loud …

  17. basketball at 1:04 am on 12.01.2006

    These are classic. But I think the AC Green one takes the cake.

  18. Mash at 12:24 pm on 12.01.2006

    Rashad McCants:

    The ball cuts through the air
    Reminiscent of the arc of KG
    Consistency is what I must learn
    Reminiscent of the style of KG

    I much prefer the basketball
    to swish the net, than be a brick
    KG will teach me the ways
    of being a fantasy ball monster

    Gerald Wallace:
    I wonder if I can slash to the rim on a free throw. It’s not like it’ll injure me or something

    Ricky Davis:
    Man, I wish I could just miss these free throws and grab my own rebound. Need to pump those stats!

    LeBron James: Wher’s my bubbalicious at?!

    Rafael Araujo (on the road, against the distracting balloons):
    Hey, this is a LOT better than Toronto!

    Anderson Varejao: Mantra to self: the rim is as big as your afro. The rim is as big as your afro.

  19. John at 5:27 pm on 12.01.2006

    Tim Duncan: 1001111010001110100011100010001000101111000110001101001

    That one was great.

    Dikembe: Tarzan will be pissed if I miss this one

  20. Unsilent Majority at 5:50 pm on 12.01.2006

    syzygy’s is the only one of these worth repeating

  21. Captain Melo at 5:57 pm on 12.01.2006

    Corey Maggette: Why would I want to learn how to convert any of my drives? That shit is way too hard.

    Shaq: I will channel my hate for Kobe into a successful free throw. Fuck. Oh well, I’ll just go get fat after the game instead.

    Bruce Bowen: I know I’m going to fuck this one up so I’m just going to jump kick whoever rebounds this in the face. Hopefully it’s Wally.

  22. Sean at 2:05 am on 12.02.2006

    Gilbert Arenas: I missed?! Ah, hell nah! Hell nah! Just wait till you read my updated blog tomorrow, you f—ing new ball…

  23. sam at 2:57 am on 12.02.2006

    one more:

    Andrei Kirilenko - Hmm…Pamela Anderson just broke up with Kid Rock. I’m gonna ask my wife if I can have some casual sex with her. WAIT! I don’t have to…

  24. Lisa at 5:30 am on 12.02.2006

    Shaq: Wake me up when March ends.

  25. Jeremy at 2:52 pm on 12.02.2006

    Rick Fox:
    Wow, that Shaq guy is hot.

Leave a Reply




Close
E-mail It