30 Teams / 30 Hours: Trippin’ With Euros
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
10:00a / Memphis Grizzlies: Was watching a little of the NBA TV a couple months ago, and Dr. J’s Sixers were playing in a hardcourt classic. There’s always that banger type that stands out from that era, and the white fellow playing along side Irving was Marc Iavaroni, new Head Coach of the Grizzlies. I love when role players become head coaches. In terms of knowledge, they know it takes talent, intangibles and lots of dirty work to win. Coaching under Mike D’Antoni probably helps a bit too. This stockpile of talent in Memphis will start to show through a fast paced / quick ball movement system. Kyle Lowry, Rudy Gay, Hakim Warrick, the list goes on and on. As I mentioned once or a hundred times, THIS TEAM’S GONNA BE FUN!
Tas says: 4th in the Southwest, 7th seed
Skeets says: 4th in the Southwest, 8th seed
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast. Comprendes?)
Comments (2)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Warming Up The Engine
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
9:00a / Miami Heat: Superman never yapped so much; he let his leotard do the talking. At this point in his career, Shaq’s best asset may be his mouth, but it’s time to back it up with some basketball. This hasn’t been The Big Aristotle’s team for a while, but with Dwyane Wade out, someone’s gotta play a little 1-on-5. Moving Fat-toine Walker for Ricky Davis is like trading that annoying girl you can’t get rid of for a new one you wouldn’t kick out of bed, straight up. Even Shaq, The Obesity Officer, couldn’t deal with ‘Toine. Shaq Diesel has been refueling and retooling with some yoga, boxing, etc. Here’s hoping the old dog can bring back his wily self to go along with his new tricks.
Tas says: 2nd in the Southeast, 6th seed
Skeets says: 3rd in the Southeast, 8th seed
(If you’d like, sample Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (3)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Have It Your Way
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
8:00a / Atlanta Hawks: Three things you should never look into: 1) Mike Bibby’s soul, 2) a Tupperware container that’s been sitting in your fridge for more than two months, and 3) The Hawks 7-1 exhibition record. Speedy Claxton should be forced to change his first name. The Armadillo Cowboy (Joe Johnson), Salim, Marvin Williams, Josh Smith and ROY Horford = Favorite. Lineup. Ever. The Hawks alternative mascot, SkyHawk (right), looks like a Burger King viral marketing campaign gone wrong. You have no idea how badly I wanted to place this team higher than the Heat. I’m a pussy.
Skeets says: 4th in the Southeast
Tas says: 5th in the Southeast
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (0)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Rock N’ Ball
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
7:00a / New Orleans Hornets: I have nothing to say about this team, so … here’s Hornets owner George Shinn’s son, Chris: “I was sitting between my mom and dad on the front seat on our way to dinner. The eight track was playing Bruce Springsteen and at one point, I laid into this massive air guitar solo. Seeing my enthusiasm, mom turned down the radio and asked me if I wanted to be a rockstar. I didn’t know that I could choose anything besides being a policeman or fireman. I was five.” I hope Chandler joins the band.
Skeets says: 5th in the Southwest
Tas says: 5th in the Southwest
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (0)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Tall, Tall Mountain
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
6:00a / Utah Jazz: Yup, it was a good run for the Jazz. Much like myself and these previews, the squad’s fading fast. No, it didn’t last long for Utah, but that’s all you’re getting from these characters. Internal problems started in last year’s postseason and don’t appear to be getting any better. Carlos Boozer is an angry man, he doesn’t like anyone (see: furrowed brow). Andrei Kirilenko continues to piss people off. No one’s ever liked him, or his floozy wife for that matter (and, no, I’m not mad I don’t have a free sex pass). Mehmet Okur has dancer’s toe. I mean, no one’s ever come back from dancer’s toe, probably ’cause no one’s ever had dancer’s toe.
Tas says: 2nd in the Northwest, 6th seed
Skeets says: 2nd in the Northwest, 6th seed
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (0)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Knixed
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
5:00a / New York Knicks: Everyone associated with this franchise is entranced by the spell of Isiah Thomas. He has the hallowed walls of Madison Square Garden haunted. Players who have never tasted the playoffs (Eddy Curry), are muttering nonsensical things like: “It’s different this year, we’re a winning team”. The NY media is under the impression Curry + Zach Randolph = Goodness. Last I heard, even Anucha Browne Sanders wanted her job back. Anyone can be sucked in; the problem is so big, it’s feeding on itself. Halitosis is what they’re calling this ailment, I believe.
Tas says: 5th in the Atlantic
Skeets says: 4th in the Atlantic
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (0)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Good Viewing
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
4:00a / Sacramento Kings: On today’s episode of Sacramento Kings basketball … Kevin Martin is annoyed when Brad Miller resorts to an old habit to play well in big games — a good luck kiss from Francisco Garcia! At practice, Kenny confides to Mikki Moore that he’s never asked out a girl because they think he’s “the fat kid whose everybody’s friend”. And meanwhile, Coach Theus benches the entire squad before a Grizzlies game for obtaining fake I.D.’s to try and go see Weezer. The end.
Skeets says: 4th in the Pacific
Tas says: 4th in the Pacific
(I hope you set your TIVO for Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (1)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Hollywood Kobe
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
3:00a / Los Angeles Lakers: Kobe Bryant, everyday in Lakers practice: “Well, ya know something Mean Kupchak… I train, I say my prayers, I eat my vitamins, brother! And this *points to his hand* this is where the power lies, brother! God created the Heavens, he created the Earth! He created Kobe! And then, and only then, he created a basketball, brother! So listen, duuuuude! If it wasn’t for Kobe Bryant, Phil Jackson would still be selling meat from a truck in Montana. So what’cha gonna do, brother? What’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when the K-O-B-E runs wild on you?” (Answer: trade him.)
Skeets says: 3rd in the Pacific
Tas says: 3rd in the Pacific
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast, brother!)
Comments (1)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Coherent Chemicals
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
2:00a / Orlando Magic: You know how there’s always a team or two you wanna see kick ass just because? Well, this is one for me. Let me tell you why tis so. First, I don’t want to look like a moron for hyping them to the max, but also, I like to think I have some basketball sense every once in a while. When I watched this dysfunctional squad last season, it seemed so apparent that with a player on the wing who possessed both an outside and mid-range game, this team would function oh so nicely. Rashard Lewis is more than capable of being that guy. Throw in an improved beast in Dwight Howard, the winning strut of Jameer Nelson and the craftiness of Stan Van Gundy, and you’ve got a division winner.
Tas says: 1st in the Southeast, 4th seed
Skeets says: 1st in the Southeast, 4th seed
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (0)30 Teams / 30 Hours: Dirk Versus Powerman And The Moneygoround, Part 1
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
1:00a / Dallas Mavericks: I know Dirk was off chasing kangaroos and koala bears this past off-season, but that doesn’t stop me from pretending that Avery and the Mavs were off on a train voyage across India drinking cough syrup, trying to “find themselves.” Imagine the Mavs had somehow lost to a ninth-seed in last year’s playoffs? Eek. I’d pay good money to see if Jake Plummer could beat Dirk in a game of handball. Remember when Calvin Booth used to tip in series game winners for this team? Josh Howard might be better than Calvin Booth. If the Mavs go 82-0 in the regular season, does anybody care? And if Jer-Bear beats the living shit out of Kendal Gill in a forest, does Kendall’s dead carcass hitting the ground make a sound? Devin Harris will probably win that dumb PG-skills competition during the All-Star break.
Skeets says: 1st in the Southwest, 2nd seed
Tas says: 2nd in the Southwest, 3rd seed
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast, OK?)
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The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
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- Ep. 312: The Fix – Friday, May 16th
- Ep. 311: The Fix – Thursday, May 15th
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- Ep. 309: The Fix – Tuesday, May 13th
- Ep. 308: The Fix – Friday, May 9th