30 Teams / 30 Hours: Eazy-Yi
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
2:00p / Milwaukee Bucks: I hope Yi Jianlian never speaks a word of English to the media. He’ll be way cooler that way. He can wear sunglasses and a long jacket; he’ll be so dark and mysterious. Everyone will want to know what E is thinking so they’ll go through an interpreter. E will answer, the media and fans will think “Boring. That’s all we were waiting for?” Then E will smile slyly, letting everyone know he’s holding back - consequently, the legend of Eazy-Yi will flourish.
Tas says: 4th in the Central
Skeets says: 4th in the Central
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast. Thank you kindly.)
Comments (0)Eazy-Yi Wants A Chinese Hottie, Milwaukee
Via the Racine Journal Times (scroll down), we finally learn the real reason Yi Jianlin doesn’t want to play in Milwaukee. Sex!
Said Ma Jian, a former Chinese basketball star: “Of course, definitely, CBA (Chinese Basketball Association) and Yi’s agents would prefer that he play in cities with large Chinese population. It will benefit both CBA and Yi; it will help promotion. And it will guarantee him better restaurants and perhaps better looking Chinese girlfriend.”
See . . . now this is a valid reason.
(Awkward hugs to Sports Frog and The Postmen, who, if they were hot Chinese Milwaukeeans, I would probably buy roses and/or scented candles for.)
Comments (8)Kinda Ballin’: The AZ Rankings
When you’re on top of the rankings, you have nowhere to go but down (see: Utah). But when you’re at the bottom of the rankings, you really just suck ass (see: New York). Thus, by scientific process of elimination, the middle of the pack is the ideal place to be.
Starting today — and following every Tuesday from here on out — I’ll pick and rank the NBA’s four most-average teams. Why? Because mediocrity is deadly, people. Dead-ly.
14. Indiana Pacers: Along with stripper guacamole cooch, this team reeks of mediocrity. Their contributing point guard Darrell, is like, 76-years-old, and their All-Star forward Jermaine, may well be the most average “superstar” of our time. With that said, Rick Carlisle could coach a team of mannequins into the playoffs, so this team will definitely strive for five… hundred.
15. Minnesota Timberwolves: Back in university I hosted my own “comedy” radio show called J.E. Skeets & Co. (True story.) I’d play music; talk about current events; and occasionally, come up with skits and/or segments. One such segment was called “Find Me A Mid-Game James”. The premise was simple. I knew a big guy named James (a Big-Game James, if you will), and I knew a little guy named James (a Small-Game James), but I didn’t know a medium-built James (um, yes, a Mid-Game James.) So… I’d get out a phonebook and call people, on air, to see if they knew a Mid-Game James. That was it. It was oddly compelling radio. Anyway, my point is, I consider this year’s T-Wolves my sort of Mid-Game James. Figure it out.
16. Golden State Warriors: This is an odd spot for the annual basement-dwelling Warriors. Every pre-season — dating back to like, 1994 — the Blue-Men are the trendy pick to make the playoffs, but of course, every year, they disappoint and finish deep in the lottery. (Where they draft studs like Todd Fuller!) But this year… this year is different. I can feel it. Now look, I’m not saying they’ll finally make the playoffs or anything, but I think they’ll be close.
17. Milwaukee Bucks: Every time someone talks Bucks’ basketball all I hear in my head is that Peanuts teacher’s trumpet-voice. You know, “Mwa-mwa-mwa-mwa, Redd. Mwa-mwa-mwa-mwa-mwa, Charlie V. Mwa-mwa, Bogut, mwa-mwa-mwa-mwa, Aussie.” Are they average? Yes, ma’am.
(Note: Why the AZ Rankings? Commenter “stopmikelupica” explains:
“We used to have our own word for mediocre — AZ. As in the rapper AZ, from the ‘Bridge (part of The Firm, with Foxy, Nas and Cormega). To us he was the definition of .500. He had talent, but not skills. All you could ever say about AZ was “he’s alright… yep, he’s alright…”. No one could ever muster an adjective other than “alright” when describing him.”
Yup. Works for me…)
Comments (7)Quickies: “Sussudio” Comes Post-Game
- Michael Redd likes spaghetti and meatballs; Brian Skinner enjoys fishing; Mo Williams listens to Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight” before every game. You’re welcome. [JSOnline.com]
- Unknown Jazz players questioned about possible assault … because they’re black! [DesertNews.com]
- Gerald “Crash” Wallace has a “No Diving Zone” sign up in his locker-room. Cute. Think Adam Morrison has a “No Dumping” one? [Charlotte Observer]
- I hate Pepsi, Steve Larmer in NHL ’94, interpretive dance, and Grant Hill’s foot. [Orlando Sentinel]
- The Old Man and the Flea musical will be played by Clifford Robinson and Allen Iverson. [NBA.com]
T.J. 4 CV3
A lot has been made about Bryan Colangelo’s re-jigging of the Raptors roster. Here is my input on the transaction that is both the most controversial and the one that will have the most impact on the 2006-2007 season.
Side note - just dipped some cauliflower in seafood sauce. I’ll give it 7 out of 10.
The point guard position is by far the most important piece of a Bryan Colangelo team. This was problem #1 for Colangelo - especially with the hole left by the ever confident Mike James.
Colangelo made a decision leading up to the draft. Who will be a better player in this league - Charlie Villanueva or Andrea Bargnani? Having done his research in tandem with his European scouting help, the decision was made.
The two are similar players but Bargnani seems to have more potential. He’s an inch taller, weighs more and is a year younger than Charlie. Andrea is also a more pure shooter. He appears to have the quicks to match Villanueva’s although Charlie can definitely work the post more efficiently. The Raps envision Bargnani playing the majority of his minutes at the 5 spot when he’s ready. CV3 seems to lack the intensity to rebound and play strong defense at the center position - his work ethic having been questioned since college. Bargnani’s desire and passion have been praised endlessly. With Chris Bosh at the 4, the only room left for significant minutes in the future for either player would have been at the 3 or 5. Neither player is truly capable of playing small forward and although Charlie did do it last year… Who cares if he did it last year? The Raps won 27 games! The drafting of “Il Mago” proves who Colangelo thought was the better player of the two.
This made the trade of CV3 a lot easier. But did the Raps get enough for him? If you want to look at past performance, the answer is no. Ford has had decent numbers, but Charlie is a year younger, becomes a free agent 2 years later than Ford, and he’s a big man who can shoot and rebound - very tough qualities to come by. For mainly these reasons, Bill Simmons calls this one of the worst trades ever.
But I’m going to have go against the Sports Guy here. Players often excel in different environments and T.J. Ford should be one of them. People forget how fast this guy really is. He’s likely top 3 along with Tony Parker and Devin Harris and “Phoenix North” should take huge advantage of that. Ford’s relationship with coaches Sam Mitchell and Jim Todd along with his friendship with Bosh are also factors in his development. On the floor, Ford fits the bill very well for Colangelo.
Didn’t everyone on the planet condemn Colangelo for signing Nash to a 5 year - 65 million dollar deal two MVPs ago? No, Ford is not even in the same stratosphere as Nash, but given the right opportunity, he will show the similar ability to fly up the court and distribute. Even if he does elevate his game, people will still argue Villanueva was a very steep price to pay.
But combine the fact Colangelo desperately needed his type of point guard to make this system go, along with the drafting of Bargnani and the defensive problems associated with playing Villanueva, Bosh and Andrea at the same time, and you’ve got a fairly even trade that will help the Raptors improve on that 27-52 record. An improvement that wouldn’t have occurred with a CV3 instead of a T.J.
Cauliflower and honey mustard anyone? You have no idea.
Comments (16)Raps Get a T.J. Fordasauros…
Raptors deal Charlie V. for point guard Ford and prepubescent Cindy.
“Getting better comes at a cost,” Raptor president and general manager Bryan Colangelo said last night. “T.J. Ford’s best attributes, quickness and playmaking, are a perfect fit for our team.”
And damn, that Cindy? Let’s just say she really brings some great Bedazzling skills to the table.
[Note: Yes, that has to be the worst title I’ve ever written. Oddly enough, I’m sort of proud of it…]
Comments (8)Stay Away From Birdie
Bucks guard Charlie Bell instantly cemented himself as one of my favorite NBA players on Wednesday by answering one simple question:
Joe, Newmarket: Charlie whats your fav sports movie of all time?
Charlie Bell: I like Above the Rim with Tupac.
Yes, Charlie! Rock on, wit cha bad self!
Charlie Bell Chat Transcript via Bucks Town
Comments (2)Joe Smith Likes Pepperoni
I just caught this Bucks/Raps report by SLAM’s Canadian correspondent Clement Chu. It’s a pretty fun read, if only for Chu’s pre-game locker room insight. Some quick hits:
- “With earphones on, Andrew Bogut was in the middle of the room getting rubbed down while singing something completely incomprehensible at the top of his lungs.”
- “Mike James was yet again, engaged in a passionate discussion with some beat reporters about sport issues. Today’s topics: The unfair treatment of Barry Bonds and why Wayne Gretzky gets off scott-free but Janet Jones doesn’t.”
- “Joe Smith was hiding out in his locker chowing down on a pepperoni slice.”
Note: I think basketball fans everywhere would benefit by allowing me frequent access to NBA locker rooms. Seriously. How do we make this happen? Anybody? SLAM? Chu? Mr. Stern? Let me know…
The Links [SLAMonline.com]
Comments (3)About
The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
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