30 Teams / 30 Hours: Ball Players From The Clippers
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
3:00p / Los Angeles Clippers: I expect nothing less than 40 minutes, 28 points and 5 turnovers a game from Corey Maggette this season. Unleash the beast, Dun! Does Quinton Ross have a nickname yet? He needs one. If Sam Cassell gets teased for looking like “Gollum,” then I think it’s only fair that we start calling Brevin Knight, “Doby.” Shoals and I once thought about creating an X/Y graph to visually represent an NBA players’ “God-given talent” (X) to “hard work and dedication” (Y) ratio. Tim Thomas ruined that dream. Is Aaron Williams a “Jason Kidd?”
Skeets says: 5th in the Pacific
Tas says: 5th in the Pacific
(Don’t forget to listen to Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (2)30 Teams / 30 Hours: LOLwaltrz
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
11:00a / Charlotte Bobcats:
Skeets says: 5th in the Southeast
Tas says: 4th in the Southeast
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast. You’ll LOLz.)
Comments (1)Corey Maggette, ‘Ball Player From The Clippers’
Readin’ Us and People mag, tryna get these scoops
Chasin’ an actor for a Bentley Coupe
She recruit a ball player from the Clippers, then came the pumps off
Thinkin’ she number one, when she was just a jumpoff
Common — Drivin’ Me Wild (Feat. Lily Allen) Music Video [DailyMotion]
Update: Also watch for a Baron Davis sighting around the 2:09 mark. Good eye, HSCS.
Comments (4)More Topless T-Nes Tales
Remember when I unveiled the Lithuanian rap star that is Tyrone “T-Nes” Nesby? And remember when I wondered if the all-mighty, WizzNutzz KidZ had already unearthed such gem?
Well, they hadn’t. Until now:
2 years ago Lithuania traded 300 metric tons of milled grain to US Government in exchange for Tyrone Nesby. The US burned the grain so it wont affect farm subsidies but Lithuania didnt burn TNež, instead he became cultural ambassador aka he blew up so big, hes now Lithuianian Puff Daddy!!! Hes also Lithuanian MLK and Lithuanian Wesley Snipes and Lithuanian you name any black man because T-Než has somewthing all those young white lithuanian hip-hop wannabes, (they callz em “Litters”) dont got - hes got melanin and hes got Michael Jordan’s bootprints still on his back!!!!
I really should’ve just handed this shiznit over…
Welcome To Nesby World! [The Basketball Jones]
Something Smells At Basketball Jones And It Smells Like Pultitzer! [WizzNutzz]
Welcome To Nesby World!
I’m not sure if it was the joy of seeing that glorious Hawks music video, Rashad McCants’ Ashbery-like poetry, or both, but I just can’t sit on this any longer…
You remember Tyrone Nesby? Um, yeah… Welcome To His World. (Conveniently available in English and Lithuanian!)
Yes, following in the tangled mic cords of other NBA-slash-rapper greats, comes T-Nes — complete with his Waking Life-like website, topless photos, and of course, sick beats … um, “yo”.
Although most of the tracks are short streamed clips, my personal favorite song has to be Victory Song. It sounds oddly similar — read: exactly the fucking same — to R. Kelly’s The World’s Greatest, but it’s got an inspirational basketball message. I think. Here, decide for yourself:
Pass me the ball, my insides are bleeding
I want to win this game, and man I mean it
So much stress, and so much fear
We made it to the semi-final, man we near
So we form a huddle, and talk to each other
We got to stay together like sisters and brothers
It was hard, but we never gave up
Even though we lost some, man we still stayed tough (C’mon)
Look in our eyes, man we ready
Palms are sweaty, heart is steady
Over two thousand fans, in the President
Enough support, this is what we needed to win
[Chorus]
You got to believe in yourself
When you feel there’s no one else
Yeah, we made it
We are champions
Even though it was so hard
Stand together, don’t give up
Yeah, we made it
We are champions
Ouch. Only two thousand fans, Tyrone? Oh well, I guess that’s still better then the few hundred you pulled in playing for the Clips, right?
Welcome To Nesby World
… Expose On NBA Rappers [Still Listen To Gangsta Music]
(Note: Considering Nesby had a brief stint in Washington — 108 games according to Basketball-Reference.com — it’s very likely that The WizzNutzz Gods have already posted this gem. If so, me-battle, me-battle…)
(Update: Apparently T-Nes’ Serious Business album ain’t that bad — 4 out of 5 Lithuanian stars!)
Comments (6)
Elton Brand’s “Rescue Dawn”
I had remembered reading somewhere — perhaps Chris Palmer’s The Sixth Man? — about Elton Brand’s hopes of expanding his business ventures to include film production. Apparently, he did. And well:
During the Toronto International Film Festival’s frenetic first weekend, MGM preemptively nabbed all rights to Werner Herzog’s much-anticipated Vietnam War drama “Rescue Dawn,” starring Christian Bale. Many distributors did not even get a shot at the film, which MGM claimed as its own before the movie’s Saturday world premiere.
This must be huge news for co-producers Brand and Steve Marlton; especially considering the struggles the film went through near the beginning of production:
Initially, Marlton said, he and Brand planned to invest $2 million of the then-$11 million budget, but after filming began in Thailand all of the other investors dropped out, leaving them holding the bag. “We liquidated properties, made bridge loans and made personal sacrifices,” Marlton said.
Damn. I hope one of Brand’s “personal sacrifices” didn’t include pimping out his wife. (I kid, I kid.)
Anyway, the film looks pretty interesting I guess. You know, if you’re into that sort of Thin Red Line, my-mind-is-the-real-war type of thing.
MGM To The ‘Rescue’ At Toronto Fest [The ShowBuzz]
(Update: There’s a video over at ESPN’s NBA front page called: Brand Makes Movie Debut In Toronto. If you look closely — and well, you know what you’re looking for — you can see a part of my alma mater, Ryerson University. Yeah, apparently the world premiere of “Rescue Dawn” was held in the same auditorium I graduated in. Hilarious.)
Comments (6)Suns-Clips: 2nd-Half Blogging
These late nights are absolutely killing me. Seriously, I’m a wreck at work in the morning. All I do is walk around the office, chugging cups of coffee, trying not to paper-cut myself. It’s pathetic.
I’ve decided I need some activity to help me stay awake so… Suns-Clippers 2nd-half “live-blogging” it is. Well, until I pass out/die. The halftime score is Phoenix 58, Los Angeles 52. Ok, let’s go.
3rd Q
11:47 – Tim Thomas and his perma-beard nail a jump shot.
10:37 – Timothy hits his 5th three. 63-54 Phoenix. 20-second timeout Clippers.
10:19 – Coach Dunleavy’s eyes scare me.
9:35 – Raja fakes the 3, steps in, hits the jumper. J. Williams did the same thing all night against the Nets.
8:55 – Marion jumper, 67-56. This could get out of hand in a hurry.
8:28 – This just got out of hand in a hurry. Diaw hits a lay-up, 69-56. Timeout Clippers. Let’s talk about our feelings!
8:15 – Oh, a ‘Tim Thomas Drains’ sign. Umm, what does that mean?
7:36 – Dong! Raja hits another three. 74-56. Wow, I may be going to bed soon…
6:30 – The Matrix is everywhere right now. Rebound, put back, 78-59 Phoenix.
5:32 – Mobley stops the bleeding by draining a deep two in the corner. 78-61.
4:52 – Awesome ball movement by the Clips. Rad-Man hits a three. 78-64.
3:30 – Brand connects inside. That’s a 9-0 run for the Clips and its 78-68 just like that.
3:08 – Cassell, PUJIT! 78-70. Timeout Suns. Let’s talk about our future goals!
2:49 – James Jones looks like he’s 8-years-old.
2:13 – Crafty Sam I Am kisses glass. 78-72 Phoenix.
1:35 – Samuel! Huge three from the left side. 80-75.
1:20 – I think the Suns scored again. I can’t keep up with this shit.
1:11 – SAMUEL AGAIN! 82-77.
0:08 – Wow. Sam again. Well, sort of. He gets Tim to “break the lane of verticality” and draws the foul. So smart. Sam hits one of two from the line. 82-78.
0:03 – I think Marion scores while I try to spell “verticality”. Yeah, let’s assume it was a lay-up. Sounds about right, eh? Ok, 84-78 Phoenix at the end of 3.
4th Q
10:58 – Couple of misses, couple of rebounds… hey, its Eastern Conference basketball.
9:46 – Hard foul by Thomas on Ross. Joey and Chandler are fucking pissed! 86-80 Phoenix.
9:36 – Nash to Thomas. 88-80. That’s 9 dimes for MVPx2.
9:17 – Brand with a lil’ spin jump shot in the lane. Very nice. 88-82.
8:27 – Two sneaky steals (Jones and Ross) and a crazy scrum for the ball ends with a Livingston foul on Nash. Commercial break.
8:12 – Radmanovic cannot guard Nash. 90-83.
7:55 – But boy can he hit threes! 90-85.
7:24 – GLASS! Yeah, I heard it. Sam banks home a three. 90-88. Timeout Phoenix. Let’s talk about sex, bay-bee!
6:37 – Raja from the Russian spot. 92-88.
6:18 – Sam is on fire. He hits a tough left-handed lay-up in traffic. 92-90. What a game. I feel so alive!
5:34 – Steve Nash undresses Radmanovic. It’s not pretty; he’s braided those pubes. 94-90 Phoenix.
4:53 – Nash doubled, but finds Thomas. Lay-up. 96-91.
4:31 – Sam I Am nails another three. Are you watching this? 96-94.
4:04 – Another Thomas bucket. 98-94 Phoenix. Clips call a timeout. Let’s talk about our favorite colors! Mine’s blue!
3:48 – With the clock winding down Mobley hits a deep two.
3:30 – Raja hits his 3rd three. 101-96.
3:07 – Raja flops and gets the call. Suns ball.
2:43 – Nash miss. Still 101-96.
2:22 – Mobley finds his big man down low. Suns foul. Brand hits both from the line. 101-98.
2:09 – Huge block by Brand on Marion! Clips ball.
1:46 – Brand grabs another offensive rebound and draws the foul again. Misses the first… And the second!
1:30 – Horrible turnover by Nash. 101-98 still.
1:15 – Over-the-back foul on Brand. Suns ball.
0:53 – Huge stop by the Clips. Here we go…
0:45 – Cassell misses a three but it’s out on Phoenix. Timeout Clips. Let’s talk about recipes!
0:40 – Sam launches from the corner… Another three! HOLY SHIT! He IS from another planet! 101-101. Tie game.
0:39 – Nash chucks it full-court to Marion. Foul on Brand. Marion goes to the line… Misses one… Misses both! Timeout Clippers. Let’s talk about our recurring nightmares!
0:31 – 8 second violation on the Clippers! Crazy call…
0:12 – Nash misses a deep three. No timeouts for the Clippers.
0:06 – Sam misses a three as well.
0:03 – Ball is rebounded by Thomas, but instead of calling a timeout, he decides to shoot the 100-foot hook-shot at the buzzer. Smart. 101-101. Overtime baby.
1st Overtime
4:55 – Brand hits a sweet fade. 103-101 LA.
4:19 – Thomas grabs an offensive rebound and just beats the shot clock. Tie game.
3:59 – Brand again. Too easy. 105-103 LA.
2:41 – Couple of good looks there by the Suns but nothing connects. Foul on Mobley. Suns ball.
2:19 – Raja hits a MONSTER three. 106-105 Phoenix.
2:05 – Raja gets a steal on the defensive end but Nash misses the PU3IT.
1:12 – Oh no, that’s Thomas’ 6th foul. Please tell me Amare rips off his suit and subs himself in. Nope, here comes Diaw. Brand hits his first FT. 106-106. Timeout. Let’s talk about peeing quickly…
1:11 – Brand hit the deuce. 107-106 LA.
0:54 – Nash with another HORRIBLE turnover. What was that?
0:40 – Sam I Am wants that freaking MVP trophy. He hits a jumper. 109-106.
0:30 – Nash scores quickly on the other end. Like, real quick. 109-108 LA.
0:12 – Big steal by the Suns… “Here I go again on my own…”
0:04 – Nash with ANOTHER TURNOVER! OH! MY! GOD! Foul. Sam hits both gimmies. 111-108 LA. Timeout Phoenix. Let’s talk about not turning the fucking ball over Steve!
0:01 – BELL FROM THE CORNER… IT’S GOOD! 111-111! WOW! I’M NEVER GOING TO BED! EVER! LIKE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
Ok… 1.1 left on the clock… Clippers inbounding… They throw it over Brand’s head. Out of bounds. Suns ball… They get it to Marion… From half… OH! Grazes the rim! Double OT here we come! Fuck!
2nd Overtime
4:22 – Shot clock violation on the Suns. Diaw looked passive there.
4:08 – Livingston misses.
3:50 – Marion draws the foul. Let’s see if he can redeem himself here… He hits the 1st… And the 2nd. 113-111 Phoenix.
3:35 – Tough J on the left side by Sam. 113-113. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Sam is officially playing RI-dic-U-lous!
3:20 – Marion with the putback jam. But no! He tweaked his ankle. Nash fouls to stop the 5-on-4 Clippers rush. 115-113 Phoenix.
2:55–2:22 – Miss, miss, miss, miss, foul. Suns ball.
2:01 – Nash kicks to Raja. He draws the foul. Shooting two… Misses the 1st! Oh, just fuck off already… Timeout. Let’s talk about the follow-thru kids! … Ok, we’re back… Raja hits the 2nd. 116-113 Phoenix.
1:46 – Brand steps thru the double team. Easy basket. 117-115 Phoenix.
WOAH! The screen is black! MY FUCKING SCREEN JUST WENT BLACK! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!
1:30 – Whew, it’s back. Deep breaths… but shit, someone scored for Phoenix. Take note of that, ok? 119-115 Phoenix.
1:22 – Brand scores… AND ONE! 119-117 Phoenix. He casually hits the FT. 119-118 Phoenix. Look at me. No, LOOK at me! This game may never end!
1:06 – Nash drops it off to Marion. Two points. 121-118 Phoenix. Timeout Clippers. Let’s talk about ordering Red Bulls.
0:53 – Mobley misses the tear-drop. Somewhere Steve Francis is crying. Foul on Livingston. Bonus! Barbosa at the line… Hits the 1st… And the 2nd. 123-118 Phoenix.
0:42 – Uh-oh… rookie mistake! Livingston steps out of bounds. Suns ball.
0:24 – Uh-oh… Brazilian mistake! Barbosa looses the ball. Clippers have possession. Timeout. Let’s talk about not talking, ok? (Note: It’s 2:10am EST.)
0:21 – Cassell misses a three. Nash gets the rebound and is fouled. He hits both. 124-118 Phoenix.
IT’S OVER! Final score: Phoenix 125, LA 118. I just lost 18 pounds watching this game! SUCK ON THAT DAVID BLAINE! Good night. Morning. Whatever…
Comments (11)“Here I Go Again On My Own”
ClipperBlog X’s and O’s superstar Kevin Arnovitz has a great new piece in Slate today about that other Los Angeles, California basketball team.
Yeah, no lie, it’s the perfect introduction to the NBA’s new, working-class “it” team. Especially his description of the Clippers roster’s 9-to-5-like mentality:
Elton Brand is the consummate lunch-pail guy, an undersized power forward who battles for every offensive board. Corey Maggette throws himself into the lane with reckless abandon—anything to get to the line. The 7-footer Kaman looks like a lost member of a Whitesnake reunion tour but has the footwork of a ballerina. And, finally, the Clips traded a couple of spare parts for Sam Cassell, a mouthy point guard who knows every trick in the book. If the Clippers roster is full of hard-working stiffs, then Cassell is the bombastic union chief.
Wow, Kaman in Whitesnake; that is so dead on. Peruse people, peruse…
Birth of Clipper Nation [Slate]
UPDATE: Kevin’s going to be stopping by Wednesday’s TBJ Podcast to talk Clippers-Suns action with us, so if you have any questions – like, oh, I don’t know, what does Cuttino think about in the bath? – then well, hit us up.
Three ways to make contact:
1) Phone 416.519.4478
2) E-mail
3) Leave ‘em here.
What’cha Gonna Do, Brother?
Clippers center Chris Kaman, immediately following his 24, 23, 3 performance over the Minnesota Timberwolves last night:
Well you know something, brother! God created the Heavens, He created the earth! He created backboards, boxing-out and hustle! But most importantly He created the Kamaniacs! Yeah, He created all my little Kamaniacs who know to say their prayers, take their vitamins, and to never go the way of wrong, brother!
Let me tell you something Mr. Kevin Garnett. Let me tell you something, dude! You may have the fancy commercials, brother. You may have the shoe deals and the jersey sales and the All-Star appearances. But there’s one thing you don’t have, and it’s where the powers lie, brother…
You don’t — nor will you ever — have the energy of a million, little Kamaniacs pumping through your veins like I do, brother! Yeah, you shall never know what it’s like to have a million little Kamaniacs pumping through your heart and soul for 48 minutes strong — just willing you tip back that Cuttino missed jump shot no matter how tired you are!
So I ask you this, brother! What’cha gonna do, what’cha gonna do brother, the next time the 24/23 stat sheet and all of Kamania runs wild on you?
Comments (7)How Not To Play The 2nd Half
Umm, you see that blue line there? Yeah, that one that doesn’t move for like 12 straight minutes? Umm, yeah, that’s not good.
Clippers Stifle Hornets [The Mercury News]
Comments (3)About
The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
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