Desperate Deron Williams
Congratulations to the Jazz and Deron Williams for signing that 3-year extension. According to TBJ fan Dan in Brisbane, Australia, Deron is destined to look like Carlos from Desperate Housewives when that contract expires in 2012 (right). Some people have wondered whether Deron is black, white, or mixed. Well, now we know. He’s Mexican American, just like our friend here, Mr. Ricardo Antonio Chavira. And, Deron’s wife probably cheated on him with their underage gardener.
Mascot Battle: Jazz vs Raptors
A million thanks to Justin P. for the bloody magic.
30 Teams / 30 Hours: Tall, Tall Mountain
You know, one can never have too many NBA season previews. (That’s a lie.) Which is why we present a new series to add to the list: The Basketball Jones’ 30 Teams in 30 Hours NBA Season Preview. Yup. It is what it is.
6:00a / Utah Jazz: Yup, it was a good run for the Jazz. Much like myself and these previews, the squad’s fading fast. No, it didn’t last long for Utah, but that’s all you’re getting from these characters. Internal problems started in last year’s postseason and don’t appear to be getting any better. Carlos Boozer is an angry man, he doesn’t like anyone (see: furrowed brow). Andrei Kirilenko continues to piss people off. No one’s ever liked him, or his floozy wife for that matter (and, no, I’m not mad I don’t have a free sex pass). Mehmet Okur has dancer’s toe. I mean, no one’s ever come back from dancer’s toe, probably ’cause no one’s ever had dancer’s toe.
Tas says: 2nd in the Northwest, 6th seed
Skeets says: 2nd in the Northwest, 6th seed
(Don’t forget to check out Monday’s NBA season predictions podcast.)
Comments (0)LOLnbaz: Sloan’s Message
Quickies Slightly Less Quick Than Regular Quickies
- Watching the Detroit/Toronto game on Saturday night, you got the feel that two of the stronger Eastern Conference teams were going at it, and the Pistons knew it. Detroit knows how to turn it on for big games and the play of the Raps recently made this match-up a pretty big deal for the Motowners. They wanted this game; they weren’t ‘bout to let these new kids on the block get a win in their barn. All you have to do is look at the way Rasheed Wallace stepped up. ‘Sheed balls whenever the hell he wants and he showed up big time for this one. He displayed why he is arguably the best defensive power forward in the game as his pestering of Chris Bosh had a lot to do with the un-Bosh like performance. As for the Raptors, they played admirably and hung on right to the end, which was especially impressive because it was the 2nd half of a back-to-back. To be playing this well with so many new parts and young players 50 games in to their 1st season together leaves a lot to the imagination of Raps fans.
- There was a former Raptor who got lots of camera time last night – an event very unfamiliar to him. Rafael Araujo, also known as The Cock of Bab-Rob, was ejected for fouling Marvin Williams kinda sorta hard in the Hawks-Jazz tilt. Araujo’s arm made contact with Marvin’s face but it was incidental and it shouldn’t have got the big man bounced. It’s not interesting that the Jazz’s 12th player was tossed but what is interesting was the response by the Utah crowd. They gave him a loud ovation that made him blush just a little bit. It was nice to see Hoffa get some love – everyone who has ever been around him has only kind words to share. Jerry Sloan compared his work ethic to Stockton and Malone and he’s even seen the court a little bit lately. Araujo didn’t get a fair shake in Toronto. He was always booed mercilessly because of his association with the Babcockian era.
- As for the Jazz, they can run like a pack of really fast jungle animals (imagine the fastest creature you can think of, cause I can’t think of a single one). Paul Millsap is a freakin’ specimen, Deron Williams has gotten in to some serious game shape, everyone knows how athletic Andrei Kirilenko can be, Mehmet Okur is the prototypical center for the new NBA, Carlos Boozer has great agility to go along with that hulking size, Matt Harpring is a spark plug, and on and on and on. Watching them dismantle the Hawks at breakneck speed was beautiful to watch. The Jazz have always been looked at as a tough, physical team, but they have adapted and added the finesse game as well.
The Official Rasheed Wallace Tech. Count: 4
Sheed picked up his league leading — surprise, surprise — fourth technical foul last night, in a close loss to the undefeated Utah Jazz.
Drawing some Kirilenko contact while he drained a short jumper, Sheed immediately spun around, gestured for a whistle, and got one. Um… the “bad” one.
Yeah, referee Steve Javie — whose “tolerance meter” was set just below “zero” last night — wasted no time in nailing Sheed with a T from the far side of the court.
Needless to say, post-game Sheed was… um… yeah…
“I knew it was going to come down to exactly what it came down to,” Wallace said. “Going down to the fourth, I knew we were going to get [dumped] on. They talk all that [garbage] about making the game better. This is making the game worse. It’s retarded. They ain’t gonna change it, so they’re like, shut up and deal with it.”
Jeesh. Easy, big guy. Try and look at the bright side, would ya? You’re in Utah … at least you didn’t get ejected for “being black”.
Wallace Feels New Rule Targets Him [The Salt Lake Tribune]
(Note: What’s up with the Gallagher picture you ask? Oh, nothing really. Here, I’ll let Kelly Dwyer explain:
“[Gallagher] is what I like to think Rasheed Wallace is laughing at, when he’s giggling across the Delta Center floor. Makes life sooo much easier.”
And you wonder why I say, Dwyer needs his own blog. Hilarious.)
Comments (0)Jammy Hafa!
Ex-Raptor, current-Jazzer Rafael Araujo is currently playing for a contract extension. It looks like he might just get it…
Yeah, they’re apparently so excited about “Hafa” down there in Utah that the Desert News paper just ran a post about him … dunking!
Jazz center Rafael “Hafa” Araujo jams in a two-handed dunk during Utah’s preseason finale 122-96 win over the Indiana Pacers on Thursday at the Delta Center. The former BYU star notched a double-double of 11 points and 10 rebounds.
That’s it!
Coming tomorrow… Deron Williams dribbles between his legs!
Jammy Hafa [DesertNews.com]
Comments (0)Quickies: WWAKD?
- Forget Jesus, What Would Andrei Kirilenko Do? [UtahJazz.com]
- Merry Christmas, new Bucks jerseys! [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]
- The Grizzlies need to change their playing style, halftime shows and concession service to keep people in the seats. So what’s their new advertising campaign? Oh, “Dunkyland”, of course. [CommercialAppeal.com]
Dunkyland? Are you serious? Who got paid for this amateur hour bullshit? And hey, what was so wrong with their halftime shows in the first place? Yeah, I’m sorry, but this is fucking mint:
- The Black President, Gilbert Arenas has parted ways with his agent, Dan Fergen. Early rumors say, “the tiger told him to do it.” [RealGM]
- C’mon, Julius, shake it off already. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Get better, champ.) [RockyMountainNews.com]
- If the Spurs lose any preseason games in France it’s because Coach Popovich is drunk off wine. [MySA.com]
Quickies: Karl Malone Keeps On Truckin’
- Allegations against Karl Malone of bribery, perjury, racketeering and unjust enrichment dismissed from court. Allegations of Karl Malone actually being white sustained. [Basketbawful]
- Look away Hornets fans: “Tyson [Chandler] turned the rock over on 21.5 percent of the possessions he participated in (the second-worst mark in the league, behind Michael Ruffin).” Bleck. There’s three words you never want to hear–behind Michael Ruffin. [Dwyer / SI.com]
- Nets president Rod Thorn: Vince Carter is “happy”; rookie Josh Boone is “frisky”. Good to know. [ESPN]
- “We’re back” translated all WizzNuttzy: “Like Negative Approach at T&G’s 25th anniversary party, WIZZNUTZZ IS BACK IN ACTION LIKE MAHALIA JACKSON!!! EVEN THOUGH SHE’S DEAD!!!” Ch’eng-Huang, I’ve missed them. [WizzNutzz]
- That’s a lot of deutsche marks, ya! Mavericks give Dirk three-year, $60M extension; will play in Dallas through 2011-12. [The Dallas Morning News]
- Today’s weather forecast: Showers, easterly winds, and an 80% chance of very dangerous rip cunts. [BREAK.com]
Hey C.J., We Need Your Jersey…
Ah-ha! Good try Utah Jazz Photoshop Man, but that jersey you got there is so obviously NOT Jarron Collin’s #31 it’s not even funny.
Well, no, I should’t say that. I did giggle a little bit when I saw it so… umm… good job I guess. Yeah, thanks. Seriously. It was a nice little 3:30 pick-me-up.
Behind The Numbers: Jarron Collins [NBA.com]
(Oh, fuck off. It’s a slow day today…)
Comments (5)About
The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
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