Ron Artest Will Play For Kobe Bryant
LA. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. If Los Angeles can swing Lamar Odom for Ron Artest and Kenny Thomas’s contract, they should do it in a heartbeat. Ron Ron has gone a little nuts the past couple weeks, as he always does, but this was a far more mature temper tantrum. Artest is older, wiser, and ready to contribute to a championship team. As far as I’m concerned, Ron Ron’s head is on pretty straight. Throw him in with the respected Phil Jackson and a player he would obviously give his left arm to play with in Kobe Bryant, and that spells S-C-A-R-Y.
This interview was conducted a couple months ago and may have had a hand in all the Artest to LA talk. I just think this is more about a guy wanting to be in a winning situation, and less about bitching for the sake of bitching.
Comments (16)Kobe Fade
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel right now. Having just watched Kobe Bryant, a man at the pinnacle of his career, at what may his lowest point ever. Last night, the Lakers took on the Jazz. Preseason scores couldn’t mean less but it was Kobe’s demeanor that said a whole lot.
That’s it in my opinion. It’s over. Kobe will force his way out of LA sooner rather than later. He sulked and pouted to a 4-of-16 performance, rarely able to look at his “unworthy” teammates. He missed jams, made cuts with no purpose and threw up an uncontested air ball from inside the 3 point arc. The best player in the game was wide left by a good foot on a jump shot he hasn’t missed since Allan Houston was a relevant NBA player.
Everything has caught up to him. Watching him mope around reminded me of Vince Carter whining his way out of Toronto. This, however, is different. Every front office employee knows Kobe remains the best in the game while some worried that Carter was done. The Lakers will receive talent in return for one of the greatest ever. Unlike the Raptors, the Lakers appear willing to wait for a viable offer.
When Kobe commenced his number 24 era at the beginning of the ‘06-’07 season, he was ready to start the climb of reaching Michael Jordan at the peak. Now, at the age of 29, Kobe will not allow Owner Jerry Buss and GM Mitch Kupchak to stop him in his quest. Wilt Chamberlain did it, Shaquille O’Neal did it, Allen Iverson did it, Kevin Garnett even did it, but no one ever bitched and complained about getting out as much as Kobe.
That’s why I have trouble looking at Kobe the way he should be admired. He has one of the most special skill sets ever, yet his attitude and history keep us from loving him. Maybe a fresh start will erase the negatives from our minds, or maybe he’ll carry a Barry Bonds type legacy in to retirement. He escaped the lack of love that goes along with rape charges but this cry baby phase will surely resonate with fans a whole lot longer.
Comments (8)Britney to Kobe: “I’m A Slave 4 U”
From the Los Angeles Times via MJD in the Haus:
Britney Spears was wearing a Kobe Bryant jersey the other night as a dress (photo) for a Lakers game along with two friends, who were wearing Chris Mihm and Luke Walton jerseys. I wonder where you can find a Mihm jersey these days?
At one point during the game, Spears and her two pals held up a sign that read: “We love you, Kobe, Chris and Luke.”
Um, yeah, I have nothing else to add to this. I really just wanted a reason to throw up a picture of a young, hot looking Spears. What the fuck happened to her? So sad.
Britney Loves Kobe [NBA FanHouse]
Is She Dating A Baller??? [Perez Hilton]
(One love to SLAM(!) for half of the photo. I’ll let you guess which part.)
Comments (3)Macho Man Randy Savage Sues Kobe Over ‘Elbow’
Former pro wrestler Macho Man Randy Savage is suing Kobe Bryant, claiming the NBA superstar has illegally adopted his trademark move — “the Savage elbow” — as his own.
The suit accuses Bryant of trademark and copyright infringement as well as misappropriation of the move. Savage is seeking an injunction, unspecified monetary damages and a lifetime supply of Slim Jims.
Savage’s lawyer, Jimmy Hart, said the Macho Man brought the legal action against the Los Angeles Lakers guard in order to protect his livelihood. He just doesn’t dig it.
“People would come up to Randy and ask him if he was letting Kobe use it or if he had taught it to him, Daddy-O,” Hart said of the move, which he claims his client created in the early 80’s and copyrighted years ago.
Over the past six weeks, Bryant has appeared to use slight variations of Savage’s go-to move. On Monday, Bryant was assessed a flagrant foul by the league for elbowing Sixers’ guard Kyle Korver. Earlier in the season he received one-game suspensions for elbowing Manu Ginobili and Mark Jaric in the face.
Hart said he first took the matter directly to Bryant’s lawyers, but they were not receptive, saying that the real issue was how Anderson Varejao was “running wild.”
Hart said he provided Bryant’s people with magazine covers, various merchandise and video footage dating back to Wrestlemania VII showing Savage landing five consecutive “elbow drops” on the Ultimate Warrior.
Ohhhhh yeahhhh… Bryant’s attorneys could not be reached for comment.
NBA Reportedly Investigating Another Kobe Elbow [NBA FanHouse]
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Comments (21)Romance on the Hardwood: Kobe & Andrew
playing: “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak
Kobe: C’mere you big bear. My turn.
Andrew: Oh, um… okay.
Kobe: My goodness. Go-go Gadget arms! Hahaha…
Andrew: Ha.
Kobe: Seriously, you’re a tall drink of water. What? Six-eight? Six-nine?
Andrew: 7-feet.
Kobe: No.
Andrew: Yup.
Kobe: Wow. You’re like a freaking Tom Collins then. Hahaha…
Andrew: Sorry?
Kobe: A Collins glass. Drink.
Andrew: I don’t get it.
Kobe: How old are you?
Andrew: Just turned nineteen.
Kobe: Oh. Ha. Never mind.
[Awkward silence]
Kobe: So tell me, Andrew, what are “the kids” into nowadays?
Andrew: What do you mean?
Kobe: Like, what’s hip? What’s cool?
Andrew: Oh. Um…
Kobe: Pogs?
Andrew: Huh?
Kobe: Are pogs still cool?
Andrew: No.
Kobe: Sea monkeys? How about sea monkeys?
Andrew: Um, I don’t–
Kobe: Sea monkeys were the shit! They were asexual, you know.
Andrew: I did not.
Kobe: True story.
[Awkward silence]
Kobe: I sometimes wish I were asexual.
Andrew: Wow.
Kobe: Oh yeah, I’d spawn hundreds of me. Take over the whole fucking league, you know.
[Awkward silence]
Kobe: Think about that for a second. I’d be like, the leading scorer for every single game.
Andrew: Um, yeah, guess you wou–
Kobe: People would be all like, “Hey, dude, who was the leading scorer in that Hawks-Kings game last night?” And they’d be all like, “Oh. Kobe … again!”
Andrew: I should really get goi–
Kobe: I could lead the entire top-ten in scoring! Hahaha…
Andrew: OK, you’re scaring me a litt–
Kobe: Oh! Oh! Christmas Day! Kobe versus Kobe!
Andrew: Kobe, you’re hurting my neck.
Kobe: Stay tuned at half for an exclusive Kobe Bryant interview hosted by…
Andrew: Please let go–
Kobe: … Kobe Bryant! Or Mamba! Hahaha… yeah, Mamba versus Kobe! I could bring back #8! Yeah, we could have #8 Kobe versus #24 Kobe! Oh, this is good! Are you jotting these down?
Andrew: Ahhhhhh!!!
[Andrew breaks free]
Andrew: You’re fucking crazy, man!
[Andrew runs away, sobbing]
Kobe: Why are you crying? Where you going? I was just– I was just kidding, Andrew. I won’t bring back #8. Andrew wait! Andrew…
[Awkward silence]
Kobe: I think those l’il things could also breathe through their feet. Shit. That’d be cool too…
****************************************
Romance on the Hardwood: The Series
Kobe & Pargo: “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”
Kobe & Pargo (Pt. 2): “Wonderful Tonight”
Gilbert & Deron: “Unchained Melody”
LeBron & Vince: “All My Life”
Kobe & Nash: “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)”
Jason & Anthony: “Put Your Head On My Shoulder”
(Bonus: Romance on the Gridiron — Ben & Kurt: “Truly, Madly, Deeply” at KSK)
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Comments (14)Mamba vs. Mongoose
Forget Raja Bell, former Utah Jazz guard – *ahem* – Billy Joe Cuthbert is calling out Kobe Bryant.
The mustachioed, Kurt Rambis-like Cuthbert (er, Mongoose) is pissed that Sony’s put the big ol’ Black Mamba on NBA 07’s cover. Cuthbert believes his “vast knowledge of life in the NBA” rightfully makes him the cover boy, and thus is challenging Kobe to a game of one-on-one for the title.
He’s even created a pretty snazzy “web-lair” to help get his point across.
As much as I admire Cuthbert’s bravado, I’m doubtful Kobe will answer the call. I guarantee he’s scared shitless of Cuthbert’s superior lock-down defensive.
Anyway, I’m glad to see Cuthbert found his goggles. He’s a much better player with vision.
Mamba vs. Mongoose Website [NBA 07 The Life Vol. 2]
(UPDATE: The Knicks just signed Cuthbert to a three-year, $14M deal. Seems like a steal.)
(UPDATE 2: No, that joke will never get old.)
Comments (5)“Killer Polo Shirt, Dude!”
IGN Sports: Did you ever score 81 in a videogame?
Kobe Bryant: [laughs] Oh God yeah.
Kobe Bryant Interview [IGN Sports]
(OK, he doesn’t say that…)
Comments (1)Lil’ Mamba?
I don’t quite understand this, but apparently rapper Lil’ Wayne – Weezy if you will – sees a Lil’ Black Mamba slithering around inside himself:
“I just done a song with Kardinal Official … Trick Daddy, Fat Joe, T-Pain … and, oh yeah, Ms. Beyoncé. I can’t forget about Ms. Beyoncé. Everybody. Everybody is always sending me something, and I never say no. I make sure the price is reasonable. If they can’t do it, we gonna work something out. I am the Kobe Bryant of hip-hop. I’m gonna get my 81 points this year.”
Umm… ok then. Does this mean Weezy’s new album will just quit playing at like, track 19 or something? I’m confused.
Busy Lil Wayne Says ‘I Am The Kobe Bryant Of Hip-Hop’ [VH1.com]
And oh, in even more pointless music-ball news…
I just noticed that Nelly Furtado’s new song Promiscuous Girl shows some lyric love to fellow B.C.’er, Steve Nash:
“It’s okay, it’s alright
I got something that you gon’ like
Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash”
Ok, that’s all I got. Back to your spreadsheets everyone…
Comments (6)TBJ on AOL Sports Bloggers Live
Probably much to the chagrin of Chris Clarke from End of The Bench, I once again dropped in as a guest of Jamie Mottram and his Sports Bloggers Live crew. (Or is it ‘Sports Journals Live’ now?)
We mostly get into discussing LeBron’s personality and Kobe’s MVP diss and well, oddly enough; all I do is basically try to defend the two superstars. It’s all very strange.
Oh, I also completely zone out at one point, say I’d like to smoke a joint with Dirk or Steve, and for some reason ask the guys if they like their orange juice with pulp or no pulp.
Yeah, sounds like a real winner of a segment on my behalf, eh? *Shaking head embarrassed* Oh well…
NBA Playoffs Update w/ J.E. Skeets [SBL Audio Clip]
Comments (14)Romance on the Hardwood
“Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” by Bryan Adams
Steve: WOAH! DON’T!
Kobe: What? What’s wrong?
Steve: You won’t wreck this night for me.
Kobe: What? What are you talking about? Come here–
Steve: –NO! DON’T!
Kobe: Easy Stevie, easy–
Steve: –DON’T!
[Awkward silence]
Kobe: Will you settle down? Honestly, what the hell is wrong with–
Steve: –This is my song Kobe! THIS IS MY SONG, DAMNIT!
Kobe: Are you drunk?
Steve: Shhhhhhhhh…
Kobe: Wow, you’re absolutely trashed right now, aren’t ya?
Steve: I am not.
Kobe: Yes you are. You’re trashed. Look at me.
Steve: No! You look at me Mr. Snake-Man! Yeah, Mr. Snakey-Snake-Man you look at me.
Kobe: Jesus-troy-murphy, your eyes are in the back of your head. How much have you had to drink?
Steve: “EVERYTHING I DO… I DO-BE-DOOBIE-DO IT FOR YOU”
Kobe: Steve, were you drinking with Dirk again?
Steve: “I WOULD FIGHT FOR YOU…”
Kobe: You’re bombed.
Steve: “I WOULD… DIE. FOR. YOU!”
Kobe: I’m amazed you’re even standing right now. Where is that crazy German?
[Kobe looks around for Dirk]
Steve: (whispering) You know… I would die for you Kobe. Serious.
Kobe: Ok, thanks.
Steve: I WOULD DIE FOR YOU KOBE SNAKE-MAN!
Kobe: Yes, yes… everyone hears you…
Steve: (whispering) Hey, psst! You want my MVP trophy?
Kobe: Steve, you’ve had a fun night, let’s just get a cab–
Steve: –AH-HA! YOU DO! HEY EVERYBODY, SNAKE-MAN WANTS MY MVP TROPHY!
Kobe: Ok, now you’re being ridiculous…
Steve: WELL YOU CAN HAVE IT!
Kobe: Come on, let’s go…
Steve: BOTH OF THEM! TAKE ‘EM!
Kobe: Let’s not say things we can’t take back in the morning…
Steve: I LOVE YOU BRYAN ADAMS! WOOOOOOOOO! BLAAAAH!
[Steve vomits all over Kobe]
Steve: Oh man, umm… umm…
Kobe: Great.
Steve: Shit. Umm… I’m sorry Kobe. I’m sorry for me. I’m sorry for life. I’m sorry for Shaq-
Kobe: -Yeah, yeah, just forget it. Let’s go home. You’re trashed.
Steve: Ok. I’m sorry. Let’s go home.
[Awkward silence]
Steve: Hey Kobe?
Kobe: What?
Steve: Can we stop for nachos?
Romance on the Hardwood: The Series
Kobe & Pargo: “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”
Kobe & Pargo: “Wonderful Tonight”
Gilbert & Deron: “Unchained Melody”
LeBron & Vince: “All My Life”
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The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
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