Shane Battier, Bit Of A Dick?
Maybe it’s just me, but I thought new Rockets forward Shane Battier was supposed to be like some super-duper nice guy or something? You know, the type of dude who’d give you his left kidney after meeting you for five minutes.
Because I must say, after reading his live chat on NBA.com this afternoon, Shane Battier seems like a real Grade-A dickhead to me.
*Shrugs*
Decide for yourself, I guess:
William (Kennesaw): Hey shane, what was your reaction when you heard you got traded to houston?
Shane Battier: Hey William, why don’t you try capitalizing my name you stupid piece of shit? It’s called a noun, ya fuckin’ douche. And wow, Kennesaw, eh? Damn, I didn’t realize you guys had the Internet down there yet. Good for you! You guys got “cell phones” too?
Marco (corpus christi): what do you bring to the rockets line-up? what are the challenges you see ahead in your first year as a rocket?
Shane Battier: What do I bring to the Rockets line-up? Oh, gee, I don’t know — killer good looks and a huge cock? Dude, I bring EVERYTHING to this Rockets line-up. We’re talking power, we’re talking speed, smarts … man, I’m like Mr. Perfect! Now watch me throw this football 50 yards and still catch it.
james (honolulu): shane! i was so excited when we traded for you, no disrespect to rudy but you’re a proven winner and i think at times last season we missed that attitude. i wanted to know what position jeff told you you’d be playing? i hope PF cuz that’ll really help us space the floor more for yao
Shane Battier: First off, you’re all welcome that I was traded here so you don’t have to cheer for some guy named “Gay”. Ha! Gay … gimme a break.
I talked to Coach Van Gundy and I told him I was comfortable playing any position on the floor. Yeah, 1-thru-5. Hell, I even told him I’d P.A. our home games if he wanted. He said he’d think about it. I have a great fuckin’ voice. Da-ba-doo be-doo-be-doo-beee…
Chat With New Rocket Shane Battier [NBA.com]
(By the way, I love Shane Battier. I wish he was my father.)
Comments (25)Shane Battier, Killer Mic Skills
If I’m USA Basketball Coach Krzyzewski — and I’m not, I don’t even own a bank card let alone an American Express — I’m not just assessing the on-court talent of my twenty-four NBA hopefuls. No, I’m taking a long hard look at their off-the-court talent as well.
And that’s why new Rockets forward Shane Battier is a guaranteed lock for my squad:
“On paper I’m not as sexy as some of these guys — LeBron and D-Wade — and that’s OK, I know who I am and I’m a guy who can … I’ll just be just a good team guy. Make a shot now and then, and play tough defense, and ah… if it has to be I can wave my towel with the best of them on the bench, and there has to be a guy who does that so … hahaha … I’m not scared to do that.”
Oh, hold on a sec, a memo is just comin’ thru here on the ol’ fax machine…
Date: July 20, 2006
From: Coach K
To: Bruce Bowen
Subject: Enjoy your summer…
Sorry Bruce, you’re not really needed anymore.
Best,
Mike Krzyzewski
Coach, USA Basketball
cc: J.E. Skeets
Ouch!
All-Stars Try Out at Day 1 of USA Basketball Camp [ESPN Motion Video]
Comments (10)About
The Basketball Jones is a NBA blog and podcast, written and recorded five times a week by J.E. Skeets, Tas Melas and Jason Doyle. Comments, questions and cold hard cash are always welcome and much appreciated. Contact us.
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