What To Do, What To Do?

A, B, Triangle, Square, Turbo, Trigger, Trigger, Bang Bang, Kaboom.

Personally, I’m not a big gamer. Sometimes I wonder who so many NBA players are hangin’ in front of their TV with controller in hand. They’ve got millions in the bank, but are still attached at the hip to their consoles.

But what else are you gonna do when you’ve got so much free time? Why go to a restaurant where someone is hoping you don’t finish your steak so they can take it home and frame it when you can enjoy your meals at home? I decided if I was a balla, I’d be the master-high-tech-super-duper-game-king.

I’d spend so much time practicing, no one would touch me, not Gilbert Arenas, not anyone. I would never go out. Vacations? Please. I would have a ham and swiss in my left hand while punishing my opponent with my right. Then, I would switch hands. I wouldn’t shower. I would set up home and away schedules so my opponents would have no excuses about losing in my living room. I’d be the Commissioner/King Shit of an enormous league. I would hire geeks and dweebs to feverishly scout my next victim. Like a handicapped wrestling match, I would take on multiple opponents at the same time. I would ignore my loved ones. I would build myself a throne. I would play blindfolded.

In short, I would dominate.

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By Tas Melas at 9:09 am on 09.12.2007 — Tags: Video Games

I Play For A Gatorade Sometimes…

From the latest ESPN The Magazine, pg. 42:

What do the Spurs do on their team plane? Bet on video games like NBA Live, that’s what. “”We usually bet $300 to $400 a game, make things exciting,” explains Tony Parker. “The most I ever lost was $500. It was a long ride.”

Man, I tell you; if my kid doesn’t make this NBA thing — insert: threatening hand gestures implying I will beat my child — Oh boy…

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By J.E. Skeets at 5:56 pm on 10.20.2006 — Tags: Tony Parker, Video Games, Spurs

Mamba vs. Mongoose

Forget Raja Bell, former Utah Jazz guard – *ahem* – Billy Joe Cuthbert is calling out Kobe Bryant.

The mustachioed, Kurt Rambis-like Cuthbert (er, Mongoose) is pissed that Sony’s put the big ol’ Black Mamba on NBA 07’s cover. Cuthbert believes his “vast knowledge of life in the NBA” rightfully makes him the cover boy, and thus is challenging Kobe to a game of one-on-one for the title.

He’s even created a pretty snazzy “web-lair” to help get his point across.

As much as I admire Cuthbert’s bravado, I’m doubtful Kobe will answer the call. I guarantee he’s scared shitless of Cuthbert’s superior lock-down defensive.

Anyway, I’m glad to see Cuthbert found his goggles. He’s a much better player with vision.

Mamba vs. Mongoose Website [NBA 07 The Life Vol. 2]

(UPDATE: The Knicks just signed Cuthbert to a three-year, $14M deal. Seems like a steal.)

(UPDATE 2: No, that joke will never get old.)

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By J.E. Skeets at 10:43 am on 09.28.2006 — Tags: Video Games, Kobe Bryant, Lakers

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